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Posts Tagged ‘Traffic Police’

Birth of a Signal Jumper

March 25, 2011 10 comments

I have never jumped a traffic signal before. Not sure why i haven’t tried it but still I have always felt that jumping a signal is sheer ignorance coz it cant be more simple. Red – Stop , Amber – Wait, Green – Go. I have paid fines a couple times for overspeeding and lane changing. But still no signal jumps. I am not saying that i am Mahatma on a Motor bike. But seriously i have stood in front of angry 21G Drivers who honk at you irrespective of  Red/Green Signal. I have ignored the ‘saavugrakki’ scolding of Auto Drivers who are supposedly exempted from all possible traffic rules. I have even got the ‘stare’ sometimes from 40 year old auntys on Scootys who jump a signal. NOT ANYMORE.

I started early from office today. 6:30. Its Friday i was happy and wasnt in a hasty mood at all. So i was driving at a less than regular speed at the OMR , the road on which my office is located. There wasnt much traffic and everything was smooth until a Police Constable blocked me and waved me to the side. I had just crossed a signal and was driving at 30 kmph max. So i wasnt sure why i was stopped at the first place. After all the usual licence, RC Book, Insurance Drama  the constable told SIGNAL JUMP. I was and am 200 % confident that i saw green lights before passing. I tried to tell the same to the SI and he told “Engalallam paatha unakku kena paya maari theriyutha”. He wrote two receipts from two booklets and asked me to sign. The fine was Rs.300. After fighting for 10 mins, After knowing that nothing can be done,  i gave the money and drove off. There, this is what happened. But there are certain things which heavily disturb me from this incident.

1. The constables always catch the people who seem to slow down after they wave at you. There were a couple of guys driving alongside me who raced off seeing the police. He didnt even turn back or make any steps to stop the speeding guys.

2. In the short 15 mins for which i was standing there i noted one thing. THEY CATCH TWO GUYS FOR EVERY SIGNAL CHANGE. Every time the signal drops off they try to stop the last 5 bikes irrespective whether they come clean or jump the signal. Out of which they succeed in stopping 2-3 bikes.

3. The signal in OMR in which i was caught, drops once in 90 seconds. i.e Green stays for 90 secs and changes to Red which also stays for 90 seconds. In that case they catch 2 guys every 180 seconds. 300 X 2 = 600 for every 3 mins. Just calculate the collection for 1 hour.

4. All this crap happens only after 25th of a month. Is the traffic police paid to work only after 25th ? I have not seen a single cop in OMR for the past 20 days. They seem to spawn after 25th. Checkposts, Speed Guns, Patrol. All after 25th.

5. When i looked at the people who were standing beside me to pay fine, i saw all IT guys. Yes, OMR is the IT corridor. But still bunch of guys with visible ID cards on the belt and a black liviya bag on the shoulder is definitely disturbing. Two fellows who paid before didnt even ask a thing! 300. No questions asked.

6. The Best part of this whole series is what i realized after coming home. Lets look at the receipts i got.

 

There’s no official seal or any name of any department, anything at all in the first sheet! I have heard before that Police have been accused of printing their own receipt books, this may be it. Thats okay, the main thing is the set of offences listed in the back of the sheet. Lookie look. Signal Violation. U/s 177. Rs.50!!! Dei entha oor gnayam da ithu. Cheating mela Cheating.

Look at the next receipt, he seems to have scribbled an offense code on it. On careful examination i found out that he had wrote U/s 183(2) Whattay genius. Thats the code for overspeeding and yes it costs Rs.300! So its all pre planned. Catch a bunch of guys on an evening. Get extra money. Kick start the new month with a celebration ?

All right this is the result of my ignorance. Let this 300 be an investment. Now that i know the fines and their cheap tactics I am going to do one thing. JUMP EVERY SIGNAL POSSIBLE. Mostly jump the same signal and try to get caught by the same set of clowns. Wait till he writes everything and show this list of offences and fines to him. Or even better, jump the signal, speed off and flip the constable.  Traffic Police will keep preying on the people who obey rules as they are the most vulnerable group of them all. This should be stopped. At whatever expense.

A Signal Jumper is born.

 

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Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

April 4, 2010 17 comments
Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

Padhin Kavanagam is the art of doing 10 different things SIMULTANEOUSLY, as told by my Tamil teacher in the 8th Grade. ‘Dasavadhani’  is the Vada Naattu name to denote a person who is capable of the same. Ever since i heard that, i thought to myself these are all highly overrated concepts and not at all possible at least in our world. Let alone Munis and Rishis and all heavenly figures in sexy clothing. I was pretty sure these are all to-be-extinct tamil words.

All these thought until i saw it with my own eyes. That too in Chennai, in the ever crowded Mount Road. He did not look like a saint. He did not have big beards. He did not have thandai and kamandalam. He did have a latti and thoppi. He didn’t wear Kaavi, he sported Kaakhi. No prizes for guessing. It’s the traffic police inspector. Here’s Padhinkavanagam explained with examples for Dummies’ sake.

1. Keeping an eye for a Potentially Mamooling Vehicle. Yamaha R15 or Royal Enfield Thunderbird driven by 19 year old guys with French beards and Liverpool jerseys are like marinated chicken pieces ready to be fried. Always on the look out for easy cash.

2. Blocking the already madakkufied vehicle in such a way that he doesn’t take off without paying the ‘fine’. Mostly involves the easy way – removing the vehicle key or sometimes the hard way – standing right in front of the vehicle with one leg on the front tyre. All those months of training in the Training Academy pays off now.

3. Checking the Driving License of the Madakkufyee . No need to get into details like seeing whether the face matches, doubts about whether he was fully dressed while the PP photo was taken and all. Coz, it was one of them who granted those wonderful licenses. Paambin Kaal Paambariyum.

4. There is no big scope in Licenses nowadays. But big booty lies in the Vehicle insurance section. A quick check whether the date of the insurance has expired always ensures that there’ll be no regrets afterwards.

5. Nobody just surrenders without a fight or a pleading. Ranging from ‘Sir engappa yaaru theriyuma’ to ‘Sir intha thadava vitrunga sir. Please office kku time aachu’ and even to ‘Inthaanga engappa line la irukkaru, pesunga’ . So gotta be ready to talk out and take out cash  in any of these situations. One of my all time favorite small talk from a Traffic Policeman is ‘Ithellam enga pocketukku illa. Governmentkku. Paaru Billellam podren. Correct a amount kooda ezhutharen paaru’. Bill booka print panrathe ivanga thaan. Hmph.

6. While the talk is going on, billing goes on parallely. “Deenadayalan , 200 rooba , overspeed. Intha pa . Inga oru kayezhuthu podu. Inga katna 200 rooba . Courtukku pona 1000 rooba . Epdi vasathi?”

7. While all these things are happening, a sad lonely walkie talkie is shouting with all its might in his belt strap. It’ll look like they dont seem to listen to what it says. But a subconscious part of the brain is always gathering information from the call, a chennai map materializing inside his head. If that processes any words like “Accident, 2 wheeler, and any place which is 5 km from where he is standing”, then he must hurry. Accidents mean big cash. And early bird gets the worm.

8.  Checking on the Constable is another threaded process. Traffic SI or Inspectors don’t ‘catch’ cases technically. Some brave constable men run into the middle of the road, scare the guy on the bike to death and then take him to the SI . So there is a high possibility that the constable may himself pocket some side amount. Constable check is very important as it splits valuable cash.

9. Amount check is the important of all. ” Antha white color field marshall bike irukulla, athula petrol tank pouch la amount a vechittu poidunga. Naan kaila vaangarthe illa” maybe easy to say. But those intense moments when he walks to the bike and keeps the cash are too important. Afterall it was a result of a hard day’s work.

10. Standing in the roads at noon time in Chennai itself is a big achievement. So they refresh themselves by sipping onto Elaneer/Karumbu Juice/Cool Drink most of the times. The refreshments are provided free of cost by the nearby shop keepers out of their respect towards traffic police men.

This 10 item cycle goes on and on and on, till the collection for the day had reached the desired threshold value. So thinking about the fact that CCTP Inspectors are capable of super human feats, makes me feel proud. Really Proud to trod among these Padhin Kavanaga Kaavalaalis.

Please note: The Post is intended only against corrupt traffic policemen. The remaining 2.4578 % Traffic Police can safely ignore the post.