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Posts Tagged ‘conversation’

Welcome, Junior Editors

July 1, 2010 1 comment

Junior Editor: Sir, we couldn’t find any news for the last page of our Newspaper for this week.

Editor: Did you just say that you couldn’t find News?

Aahh. Yes.

Come, walk with me.

Okay.

Hear Hear Boy. We aren’t running a Newspaper to report Quality News from around the world so that many people can benefit from it. We are running a TABLOID for God’s sakes. How the hell can you run outta news ? Now Listen…

Editor: Weren’t there any raunchy photoshoots of any actress?

Junior Editor: No

Any one joined the PETA?

No

Any wannabe actor got some new tatoo on his back ?

Nopers.

What the he.. Nopers? Don’t do that again. You know i hate gay people.

Sorry Sir.

Moving Forward….No Marriages happenin around?

No

What about Divorces?

We covered ’em last week

Last Week ? No one has applied for divorce in a whole fuckin week ?

I am afraid no sir

Not even celebrity crushes ? No teen celeb revealed her crush and all ?

Ah . No.

Any new preggos ?

No go.

What about the paparazzi ? Any singer on vacation in Hawaii, Bahamas ? Sun bathing? Water Skiing ? Hanging out with Presidents and Tennis Stars ? Anyyything ?

No No No

Did they close down the whole of Hollywood and send everyone to castrate sheep in Montana ?

Wow is that so ?

Ahh. God. Kill me right now.



Junior Editor 2: Sir Sir.

Editor: Yes

See if this photo is Okay. For our first page.

Hmmm. Well too much exposure.

Exposure ? But Sir, the photo of Megan Fox last week was more exposing.

Whatt? Not that Exposure idiot . The photo exposure. The thing to do with too much of light. Understand now ? Photoshop this crap and put it up . You actually thought i was worried about some extra skin show? And i thought you were the intelligent of the lot.



Editor: Shew. Did you get any news now ?

Junior Editor 1 : Me ? Now ? How ? I am standing right here.

Editor: Ya keep standing, Keep sitting in your ass all day and finally tell me that you don’t have news.Great .

Editor: Leave all these. Didnt any, by any i mean Hollywood, Kollywood, Bollywood, any actress release any statement about sex in a whole damn week ?

Hmmm we had a close shot at it. But didn’t work out.

Editor: Talking about close shot, where the hell is the photographer who we paid to take photos of random chicks at parties?

Junior Editor 1: He didn’t turn up yet. Must be hungover from last night’s party i guess.

Editor: I haven’t seen him in weeks!!

Well thats what you pay him for. You know i initially applied for that job. But…

Shut the hell up before i kill you. Locate him, dealcoholize him and bring him here.



Editor: Btw aren’t there any news in Celebrity Gossip, celebuzz, E! , Huffington Post which we can use ?

Junior Editor:You mean to lift news?

Who are you, the FBI ?

I’ll Check ’em out Sir.

Didnt that Steve Jobs guy invent something new ?

They are covering that news in the Main paper.

Main paper my ass. How the hell do those people get the news always and you keep whining like a little girl ?

Sir, i just got an idea. Can we do a cover story on Jabulani ?



Editor: There’s my boy!! Get a big, high def picture of her. Preferably less clothes. If there’s no such picture, get any of her pic to that graphic designer guy in 6th floor. I heard he is an expert in ‘altering’ clothes in photos. Get it done. Put a 5×7 picture of her accompanied by some crap news. Tell that she is going to act in the next Harry Potter movie or is currently dating Robert Pattinson or some shit. We don’t have much time. Chop Chop. I have a meeting now. Will see you later.

Junior Editor: Sir Sir. But its the World Cup Ball.

Editor: What ? Ya ya . Tell her she likes the world cup and she has a crush on ….. lets say…Cristiano Ronaldo and I don’t care if she has balls. You try to grow a pair if possible. See ya.

Men will be Men

May 24, 2010 24 comments

Arun: Dei, got your joining letter la ? July 30. Chennai thane ?

Kanagu: Ya Ya. Athe than. Shew, atleast we are in the same branch.

Arun: Ya da. College a ye kalakkina maari , office a yum kalakkanum.

Kanagu: Enna kalakkalo. Neeyavathu color colora program llam poduva. Enakku therinja ore program ‘Hello World’ thane

Arun: Dei, athellam mattere illa da. And did you check out that orkut community of our new joinee batch.

Kanagu: Kanna, orkut llam school pasanga use panrathu. I am currently only on Facebook, Twitter, Buzz you know.

Arun: Adangu da. But paravala girls use panrathu Orkut thaane. Twitterla high levela irukkarthellam onnu PSBB, illa MOP. Seri, I checked the community. Believe me, Egapatta figures da. Perellam paathale ponnu azhaga irukkumnu thonuthu.

Kanagu: Athaane paathen. I thought you went to the community to gather info about training and all. And appadi ennada pera paatha.

Arun: Archana Nair, Sulaba Malhotra, Kamini Iyer nnu ennanennavo perunga machi. Ithanaila onnu rendu koodava nalla irukkathu?

Kanagu: Kaalam bathil sollum da . Badhil Sollum. But I have a doubt. 14 years of Coed School, 4 years of Engg coll life, ithula correct pannatha ponnaya ippo correct panna pora ?

Arun: Ha Ha. I was expecting you would ask this question. You see, school la college lla llam girls will be bound by many restrictions da. When you start working, you earn.. So ponnungellam independent a think panna aarambichiduvaanga. And that is our big advantage. So, office la aal pudikkarthu Can-Can.

Kanagu: Huh. The one thing I like about you is the way you justify your inability to get a girl with some high school nonsense. Ennavo machi kudiyum kudithanamuma aana santhosham thaan.

Arun: Hmmm, you still seem skeptical. Machi ill tell you what is waiting for us in office. In case you have a good looking girl in your team or in the neighboring team, chances of you and her talking alone are very high.

For instance you’ll have tasks to be done together, you both will meet in the elevator like a million times, you’ll have lots of team lunches, team building crap sessions, outing, late night works close to deadlines, cab drops incase of those late night works, a thousand official phone calls out of which a few can be turned personal and moreover she’ll have doubts which you may solve and vice versa too. Ippo sollu machi, ivlo vaippu kudutha nee goal poda maata ?

Kanagu: Yappa ! Dei naan mattum goal pottennu vechikoyen unakku treat machi.

[ One year later]

Kanagu: Dei I was transferring data from my old phone to new. Look what I found. It is a phone conversation we had about an year ago. Appo etho thonichennu record pannen. Inikku kaalaila fulla atha kettu semma sirippu.

Arun: Dei we had lots of conversations. Which one ?

Kanagu:  [pressin play button in the phone] This one.

For instance you’ll have tasks to be done together, you both will….

Arun: HA HA.

Kanagu: Eppadiyellam emanthirukkom. Naama pesina antha stereo type azhagaana ponnukku already 6 adi oyarathula, semma bodyoda, sekka sevelnu oru boyfriend iruppanra mattera naama yosikkave illala.

Arun: Vidra Vidra. Trisha kedaikkalenna Divya. 2nd floor la, delivery team kku pudhusa vanthirukkara  fresher group la oru ponnu takkara irukkan. Patchi sollichu. Unakku than antha team antha Anand a  theriyumla, va va va va. Seekaram va.

Men will be men.

Vaazha veikkum CEG kku jay !!

July 27, 2008 25 comments

Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi … Time for a new Post. This time it is a small piece of information which my friend shared with me yesterday . Friend as in School Friend named Guru . We studied in the same old school of 13 years together . And we’re good friends . Anyways he is doing final year in a private college in chennai . He has a different philosophy towards girls and just now i found out that his college has a great influence on it . Hmmm ippo namma avan college la nadakkara comedy a pathi paakalaam .

Guru: “Ethukku da ponunga friendship llam . Thevaye illa da . Wastttu” .

Pradep : “Dei enda ponnunga pasangannu paakara . Friends can be anyone . Why this hatred ?”

Guru: “Pinna , ponnunga kuda pesi enna suspend aaga solriya ?

Pradep: “Suspend a??

Cut Cut Cut .. Ippo namma oru flash back paapom . Avan sonna katha thaan .

Guru’s College Part I .

Avanga college a porutha varaikkum payyan-ponnu pesarthu maha periya kutram. Ippadi thaan oru thadava oru payyanum ponnum corridorla ninnuttu pesitu irunthaangalam . Payyan kaimaatha etho kaasu vaangi iruppan pola , atha thiruppi kuduthirukkan . Antha ponnu avasarama vaangittu ponathunaala note light a kizhinjiduchaam . Ithellam oru FLOOR SUPERVISOR paathuttu irunthaaram . Avarukku porukkala .. “Enna oru desa drogam, oru payyanum ponnum pesitttanga . Nooooooo” nnu solli antha payyanoda veettukku letter anuppi avunga parents a vara solli irukkanga . Parents kitta sonna compliant “Sir, Unga payyan antha ponnu kitta irunthu kaasu vaangi atha kizhichi pottirukkan . evlo periya thappu .. SUSPEND” .

Guru: “Thevaya ithu ? ” “Intha maari aalunga irukkara edathula entha vidhamaana riskkum edukka koodathu da

Pradep : “Dei intha oru incident thaane da . Avan neram serilla athaan maatikittan

Guru: “Ivan neram seriyyala , appo intha payyana ennannu solluva ?

Part II:

College bus thaan oru alavukku jolly a irukkara edam polirukku . Oru naal busla kadaisi row la ukkanthiruntha pasangallam sernthu bet vechu oru ponnukku ‘hi’ sollanumnu plan pottirukkanga (Small Boys !!) . Athe maari solliyum irukkanga . Itha oru staff paathutaanga !!. “Oh, my Godddd . Atheppadi intha pasanga oru ponnukku HI sollalam . Discipline illa  ? Manners illa ? ” nnu solli poi princi kitta pottu kuduthuttanag polirukku . Udane Management antha staff kitta “Yaar antha pasanga ? Adayalam kaatunga ” nnu solla avanga sonna adayaalam enna theriyuma ? “Busla last rowla ukkarra pasanaga ” . “Very Good , avangala naanga paathukkarom” . Onne onnu kekkaren , dhinamum athe pasanga thaan athe edathula ukkaruvaangala ?? Enna achu na adutha naal oru appaavi paya kadaisi rowla ukkanthu irukkan . Ivanga SQUAD vanthu avanayum serthu ‘ARREST’ panni irukku . Payyan evlo solliyum kekkala . “Ellarayum 5 naal suspend panren” . Anthe .

Pradep: “Ha Ha . Dei ithu muttaal thanam da . Kevalama irukku

Guru:  “Ennatha panrathu

Pradep : “Ivlo thaan comedy a ? Illa vera ethaavathu irukka ?”

Guru : “Hmmm innonnu solren

Part III:

Avanga college la lunch break la llam yaarum veliya ninnu pesa koodaathaam . Vera dept la irukkara friend a paaka mudiyaatham . Vera class la oruthana pudichaanganna , “Ellaya meerina kutrathukkaga ” suspend panniduvaangalam !! . Kadavule . Oru naal Guruvum avan friend Ramachandranum ninnu pesittu irunthaangalaam . Guru college oda design epdi na , center la oru periya ground irukkum , suthi classrooms irukkum , 3 maadi nnu nenaikkaren . So ivanga first floor corridor la ninnuttu pesittu irunthirukkanga , athukkulla oru FLOOR SUPERVISOR vanthu , “Enpa , keezha potta pasangallam poittu varra eduthula ninnuttu  irukkeengale . Vekkama illa ?” . Enna da koduma ithu . Ithu Co ed college . Pombala pasanga vanthu pora edama ? Ada kadavule . Ithellam romba over …

Pradep : “Dei Jail da athu

Guru : “Hmmm . Ippo sollu , naan sonnathellam correct thane ?

Pradep : “Correct Correct. Hmmm oru doubt . Ivlo strict a irukkarthunaala unga college la kaadhal jodingellam kammiya irukkume ?

Guru: “Atha yen kekkara . Ithanaala thaan adhigama aaiduchi . Ketta ivlo restrictionlayum maatikkama love panrathula thaan kicke irukkun raanunga

Pradep : “Ivanungala thiruthave mudiyaathu da” (😛)

Ithellam vechu compare panni paatha namma college !!! . SORGA BOOMI . Sorgame enralum anthu CEG kku eedaguma ?

Note : Mer kooriya ella nigazhvugallayum ponnunga suthama affect aagave illa . Pasanga thaan suspend aagi saagaranunga . Enna Koduma sir ithu .

P.S : No offence was meant at the college 😛 . It is one of the best colleges in Chennai . Blog ezhutha oru parabarappana topic kedachuthu avlo thaan . So college officials yaaravathu itha paaka poi , naan kaalaila pal theikkum bothu oru thani padai anuppi enna thookidatheenga . (Aan seri Guru vayum thookidatheenga :-P) . Padichoma Sirichoma Comment adichomannu irukkanum . Okay ??

Ippo ellarum sernthu sollunga “Vaazha Veikkum CEG kku Jay”

=))

Categories: CEG, comedy, humour Tags: , , , ,