This is probably why I won’t get a girlfriend
This is probably why I won’t get a girlfriend. I am terrible in choosing dresses and often take hours to take a simple tshirt. So girl friend is definitely gonna be a big frickin deal. But off late I started to realize the fact that I have very vehhhry high standards for a girlfriend.
Let’s not talk about the usual stuff like ‘Should look beautiful’ ‘Sensible, loving, caring’ and non-specialized generic crap. It’s already there in the list. Top of the list truth be told. But apart from this there are many other things. I want her to know movies. About 90% understanding of the ‘Inception’. I want her to know what IMDB means. Who Eric Bana is. Who Grace Kelly is. What is Vijay’s next movie. Who is directing Billa 2. I want her to know Music. Not just Michael Jackson and the Backstreet Boys. Certainly not Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber either. I want her to know TV. I want her to know about Charlie Sheen. I want her to know that he is staying with ‘goddesses’ now. I want her to know technology. What changed in iPad2. Who the hell are Sergey Brin and Larry Page. I want her to know Games. About the latest version of Call of Duty. About the Kinect and the Move. I want her to have a twitter account. Not the ones with just one tweet sayin ‘Hello World’. I want her to have her own photo in her Facebook page. Not Surya/Jothika or Perfectly photographed American Babies and Japanese Dogs. I want her to know her way around the web. About xkcd, Internet Memes. I want her to have a blog. I want her to write. Be it anything. Be it nonsensical daily dairy stuff or the effect of global warming on Dolphin population. I want her to know what’s happening in the world. Who Assange is. What happened in Egypt and Libya. Most importantly I want her to know what’s happening in India. About the 2G Scam. About Radia, Raja and Kalmadi. About local matters. No. of Seats given to Gaptun. About TRs Kural TV Webcasts and Suppress, Oppress, Depress.
This doesn’t mean that I want her to cut her hair short and wear only Shirts/Pants all the time and ‘dude’ all the guys around with a Vinu Chakravarthy voice. I want her to do girly stuff. I want her to say ‘cute’ while looking at stray puppies. I want her to type messages in the phone with the dictionary off. I can live with the occasional ‘ma’ for ‘my’ and ‘lyf’ for ‘life’. Strictly occasional. I want her to speak in English when she gets angry. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want her to speak tamil. I want her to speak tamil primarily. I want her to know the meaning of swear words in tamil. I want her to read atleast Vikatan and Kumudham if not Ponniyin Selvan and Kolayudhir Kaalam. I want her to have a lot of friends. Definitely a few guy friends. I want her to have an opinion. Certainly not on Everything. But for the things that matter. And I want her opinion to differ from mine. Not always, but more often.
Reading the post now makes me certain of one thing. This girl is hypothetical. Not Real. Even if she exists, 1000 Rupees say that she is already taken. So why all this polambal? Doesn’t this break the universal law of love which states that love shouldn’t come by seeing any material things? Kandathum Kaadhal, Blind love and all. Maybe Yes. Maybe this is too much to look for in a girl, maybe this is too less. Maybe these are not at all the things to look in a girl. But still, these are the optimal conditions. Best Case Scenarios. It’s totally fine if few of these are missing in her. Seriously, If she satisfies everything in the list then what the hell am I for? What will we talk about if she already knew everything that I am possibly gonna talk about? No guy wants to date his own feminine self.
I like to finish off by telling about a friend of mine who applies to LBS every even Semester. He just applies to LBS every 2 semesters. Just for the fact that if at all some college should reject him it must be a Gethu one. Maybe I am doing that. Setting the bar high so that I can whine about the bar being high and not about my inability to vault over it. Like giving myself an ‘Intha Pazham pulikkum’ sort of an explanation. So what can you do now? If you reading this and you are a girl who seem to have most of the aforementioned deeds: “Hi, I am Pradep. I Studied at CEG. Currently in TCS. DM me @pradepkumar. Maybe we’ll have a Cup of Coffee over the weekend?” Or, If you happen to know a girl who falls under these categories you know how to reach me.
P.S: The idea of this post was originally taken from this one. It’s a good one, read it too. And No, the post was not written when I was high.