Archive for July, 2010

Welcome, Junior Editors

July 1, 2010 1 comment

Junior Editor: Sir, we couldn’t find any news for the last page of our Newspaper for this week.

Editor: Did you just say that you couldn’t find News?

Aahh. Yes.

Come, walk with me.


Hear Hear Boy. We aren’t running a Newspaper to report Quality News from around the world so that many people can benefit from it. We are running a TABLOID for God’s sakes. How the hell can you run outta news ? Now Listen…

Editor: Weren’t there any raunchy photoshoots of any actress?

Junior Editor: No

Any one joined the PETA?


Any wannabe actor got some new tatoo on his back ?


What the he.. Nopers? Don’t do that again. You know i hate gay people.

Sorry Sir.

Moving Forward….No Marriages happenin around?


What about Divorces?

We covered ’em last week

Last Week ? No one has applied for divorce in a whole fuckin week ?

I am afraid no sir

Not even celebrity crushes ? No teen celeb revealed her crush and all ?

Ah . No.

Any new preggos ?

No go.

What about the paparazzi ? Any singer on vacation in Hawaii, Bahamas ? Sun bathing? Water Skiing ? Hanging out with Presidents and Tennis Stars ? Anyyything ?

No No No

Did they close down the whole of Hollywood and send everyone to castrate sheep in Montana ?

Wow is that so ?

Ahh. God. Kill me right now.

Junior Editor 2: Sir Sir.

Editor: Yes

See if this photo is Okay. For our first page.

Hmmm. Well too much exposure.

Exposure ? But Sir, the photo of Megan Fox last week was more exposing.

Whatt? Not that Exposure idiot . The photo exposure. The thing to do with too much of light. Understand now ? Photoshop this crap and put it up . You actually thought i was worried about some extra skin show? And i thought you were the intelligent of the lot.

Editor: Shew. Did you get any news now ?

Junior Editor 1 : Me ? Now ? How ? I am standing right here.

Editor: Ya keep standing, Keep sitting in your ass all day and finally tell me that you don’t have news.Great .

Editor: Leave all these. Didnt any, by any i mean Hollywood, Kollywood, Bollywood, any actress release any statement about sex in a whole damn week ?

Hmmm we had a close shot at it. But didn’t work out.

Editor: Talking about close shot, where the hell is the photographer who we paid to take photos of random chicks at parties?

Junior Editor 1: He didn’t turn up yet. Must be hungover from last night’s party i guess.

Editor: I haven’t seen him in weeks!!

Well thats what you pay him for. You know i initially applied for that job. But…

Shut the hell up before i kill you. Locate him, dealcoholize him and bring him here.

Editor: Btw aren’t there any news in Celebrity Gossip, celebuzz, E! , Huffington Post which we can use ?

Junior Editor:You mean to lift news?

Who are you, the FBI ?

I’ll Check ’em out Sir.

Didnt that Steve Jobs guy invent something new ?

They are covering that news in the Main paper.

Main paper my ass. How the hell do those people get the news always and you keep whining like a little girl ?

Sir, i just got an idea. Can we do a cover story on Jabulani ?

Editor: There’s my boy!! Get a big, high def picture of her. Preferably less clothes. If there’s no such picture, get any of her pic to that graphic designer guy in 6th floor. I heard he is an expert in ‘altering’ clothes in photos. Get it done. Put a 5×7 picture of her accompanied by some crap news. Tell that she is going to act in the next Harry Potter movie or is currently dating Robert Pattinson or some shit. We don’t have much time. Chop Chop. I have a meeting now. Will see you later.

Junior Editor: Sir Sir. But its the World Cup Ball.

Editor: What ? Ya ya . Tell her she likes the world cup and she has a crush on ….. lets say…Cristiano Ronaldo and I don’t care if she has balls. You try to grow a pair if possible. See ya.