Home > humour, tanglish > Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

Padhin Kavanagam for Dummies

Padhin Kavanagam is the art of doing 10 different things SIMULTANEOUSLY, as told by my Tamil teacher in the 8th Grade. ‘Dasavadhani’  is the Vada Naattu name to denote a person who is capable of the same. Ever since i heard that, i thought to myself these are all highly overrated concepts and not at all possible at least in our world. Let alone Munis and Rishis and all heavenly figures in sexy clothing. I was pretty sure these are all to-be-extinct tamil words.

All these thought until i saw it with my own eyes. That too in Chennai, in the ever crowded Mount Road. He did not look like a saint. He did not have big beards. He did not have thandai and kamandalam. He did have a latti and thoppi. He didn’t wear Kaavi, he sported Kaakhi. No prizes for guessing. It’s the traffic police inspector. Here’s Padhinkavanagam explained with examples for Dummies’ sake.

1. Keeping an eye for a Potentially Mamooling Vehicle. Yamaha R15 or Royal Enfield Thunderbird driven by 19 year old guys with French beards and Liverpool jerseys are like marinated chicken pieces ready to be fried. Always on the look out for easy cash.

2. Blocking the already madakkufied vehicle in such a way that he doesn’t take off without paying the ‘fine’. Mostly involves the easy way – removing the vehicle key or sometimes the hard way – standing right in front of the vehicle with one leg on the front tyre. All those months of training in the Training Academy pays off now.

3. Checking the Driving License of the Madakkufyee . No need to get into details like seeing whether the face matches, doubts about whether he was fully dressed while the PP photo was taken and all. Coz, it was one of them who granted those wonderful licenses. Paambin Kaal Paambariyum.

4. There is no big scope in Licenses nowadays. But big booty lies in the Vehicle insurance section. A quick check whether the date of the insurance has expired always ensures that there’ll be no regrets afterwards.

5. Nobody just surrenders without a fight or a pleading. Ranging from ‘Sir engappa yaaru theriyuma’ to ‘Sir intha thadava vitrunga sir. Please office kku time aachu’ and even to ‘Inthaanga engappa line la irukkaru, pesunga’ . So gotta be ready to talk out and take out cash  in any of these situations. One of my all time favorite small talk from a Traffic Policeman is ‘Ithellam enga pocketukku illa. Governmentkku. Paaru Billellam podren. Correct a amount kooda ezhutharen paaru’. Bill booka print panrathe ivanga thaan. Hmph.

6. While the talk is going on, billing goes on parallely. “Deenadayalan , 200 rooba , overspeed. Intha pa . Inga oru kayezhuthu podu. Inga katna 200 rooba . Courtukku pona 1000 rooba . Epdi vasathi?”

7. While all these things are happening, a sad lonely walkie talkie is shouting with all its might in his belt strap. It’ll look like they dont seem to listen to what it says. But a subconscious part of the brain is always gathering information from the call, a chennai map materializing inside his head. If that processes any words like “Accident, 2 wheeler, and any place which is 5 km from where he is standing”, then he must hurry. Accidents mean big cash. And early bird gets the worm.

8.  Checking on the Constable is another threaded process. Traffic SI or Inspectors don’t ‘catch’ cases technically. Some brave constable men run into the middle of the road, scare the guy on the bike to death and then take him to the SI . So there is a high possibility that the constable may himself pocket some side amount. Constable check is very important as it splits valuable cash.

9. Amount check is the important of all. ” Antha white color field marshall bike irukulla, athula petrol tank pouch la amount a vechittu poidunga. Naan kaila vaangarthe illa” maybe easy to say. But those intense moments when he walks to the bike and keeps the cash are too important. Afterall it was a result of a hard day’s work.

10. Standing in the roads at noon time in Chennai itself is a big achievement. So they refresh themselves by sipping onto Elaneer/Karumbu Juice/Cool Drink most of the times. The refreshments are provided free of cost by the nearby shop keepers out of their respect towards traffic police men.

This 10 item cycle goes on and on and on, till the collection for the day had reached the desired threshold value. So thinking about the fact that CCTP Inspectors are capable of super human feats, makes me feel proud. Really Proud to trod among these Padhin Kavanaga Kaavalaalis.

Please note: The Post is intended only against corrupt traffic policemen. The remaining 2.4578 % Traffic Police can safely ignore the post.

  1. April 4, 2010 at 12:41 am

    LOL!!! long time ku appuram ‘veri’ post!!

    btw, you know what? people calling police men “thiruttu pasanga ba indha traffic police” happens only in Tamil Nad!

    • April 5, 2010 at 9:02 am

      Happens only in Tamil nadu ? Why, in North India they same the same dialogue in Hindi i guess.

  2. pgaucha
    April 4, 2010 at 6:33 am

    machi 200rs outta…..

    • April 5, 2010 at 9:03 am

      Parrra. Internet llam use panra . Mass da MC .

  3. April 4, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Lol! Nice post da 🙂 Get the feeling you are having too much time on your hands 😛

    @userceg: Dei, common throughout India da.. Try dealing with corrupt policemen who don’t even speak the same language you do 😛

    • April 5, 2010 at 9:04 am

      Too much time llam illa machi. Olagame idinji vizhunthaalum oru vaarathukku oru post podanumra mudivula irukken 😀 Paapom .

  4. smrithi
    April 4, 2010 at 9:01 am

    he he good one!! brings back old memories 😛

    • April 5, 2010 at 9:05 am

      Yaa Yaa . Actually the post was partly inspired by that thaan. Marakkave mudiyaathu .:D .

  5. Nitin
    April 4, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Lol! Nice post da. You forgot helmet checking.

    • April 5, 2010 at 9:06 am

      Hmmm aamam da. Ithukke pathu point vandhudichi. Athaan vittutten.

  6. April 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    nice one. I am one of the few who knew what the Padhin Kavanagam means !!

    U shud change this ‘Padhin Kavanaga Kaavalaalis’ to ‘Padhin Kavanaga Kalavanis’ Sounds cool 😀

  7. May 9, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Sema observation!
    aana paavam da..veyilla namalaala 1 hour eh nikka mudiyaadhu…ithula pollution,horn sound,crowd mathiyila ipdi mandaya polakkra veyilla 8-10 hours nikraanga…avangaluku kodukrathu onnum periya thappu illa! nammalaam apdi oru vela kodutha,rendavathu naal eh ooru eh vitu odiduvom! avan avan kashtam avan avanuku!
    AC room la vela seyra namalukke ivlo salary tharanga..aana avlo kashtamaana traffic velaiku kammi salary…so avanunga revenue raise panrathu ok! aana table la utkarnthu lanjam vaangran paaru,avane muttiku mutti thattanum! 😀

  8. Kalai Chezhian
    July 25, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Actually am a kavanagar… am doing research in kavanagam… i started reading the article with a surprise but ended with a laugh… kudos to the author 🙂 🙂

    • Murugappan
      April 4, 2013 at 7:29 am

      I am on a vacation to chennai.
      I would like to get training in kavanagam
      At least trying to handle 2 to 3 for now. Can
      You please provide contact details of a kavanagar Who could give training.

  9. maheshwaran
    September 26, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    i need phone nu,mber and address of kalaicheizhiyan.

    wwho can provide this.?

    any one interested to share his number.?

    plss write to me

  10. January 3, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    You post very interesting posts here. Your page deserves much
    bigger audience. It can go viral if you give it initial
    boost, i know very useful service that can help you, simply
    type in google: svetsern traffic tips

  1. April 5, 2010 at 8:29 pm

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